Was at Pure Gym last Tuesday watching this absolute weapon torture himself on the treadmill. Sweat was pouring down his face, and he was grimacing like he was being tortured. His mate asked if he was alright, and he goes, “No pain, no gain, innit?” Made me want to shake him. Here’s a grown man who’s bought into the biggest load of old cobblers in the fitness world. Got me thinking though. How much complete tosh do people actually believe about exercise? Instagram’s made it ten times worse. Everyone with abs thinks they’re a fitness guru now. Time to set the record straight on the biggest fitness fibs doing the rounds.

Myth 1: No Pain, No Gain Is Gospel Truth

This saying makes me want to punch walls. Pain during exercise means you’re doing something wrong, you plank. Proper exercise feels like hard work, not like someone’s stabbing you with a rusty fork. Muscle ache tomorrow? Normal. Sharp shooting pain right now? Stop being foolish and get off the machine. Had a mate tear his rotator cuff because he thought shoulder pain was “just part of training”. Spent six months in physio. Absolute mug.

Myth 2: Cardio = Fat Loss, Weights = Muscle

Heard this garbage from every gym newbie ever. “I just want to lose weight, so I’ll stick to the treadmill.” Completely false. Cardio burns whatever your body fancies, be it fat, muscle, or your will to live. Doesn’t care which one goes first. Weights? They burn calories too, plus your muscles need energy to repair themselves afterwards. But nobody mentions that bit, do they?

Myth 3: You Can Pick Where Fat Disappears From

Oh Christ, this one. “I’ll do a million crunches to shift my beer belly.” Might as well wish for a lottery win while you’re at it. Your body’s got its own ideas about where fat comes off. Usually the bits you want to keep (like your face) go first, and the bits you hate (love handles, I’m looking at you) stick around like a bad smell. Genetics decides this stuff, not your 200 daily sit-ups.

Myth 4: Stretching Stops You Getting Injured

I’ve been hearing this rubbish since school PE. Turns out stretching before exercise might actually make you weaker. Brilliant, isn’t it? Static stretching is about as useful as a chocolate teapot for injury prevention. What works? Getting your body warm and moving properly before you start lifting heavy things. My physio mate says most gym injuries happen because people have crap form, not because they didn’t touch their toes for five minutes.

Myth 5: Women Turn Into She-Hulk From Lifting

This myth can do one. Women don’t accidentally become massive. It takes blokes years of proper training and eating like horses to get big muscles. Women have much less testosterone compared to men. What actually happens? You get stronger, look better, and feel more confident. Terrible side effects, obviously.

Myth 6: More Training = Better Results

Classic British thinking: if one’s good, fifty must be better. Wrong again, sunshine. Your muscles grow when you’re sleeping, not when you’re sweating in the gym. Train every day, and you’ll just get more tired and weaker. Rest days aren’t for lazy persons. They’re when the magic actually happens. Mad concept, I know.

Myth 7: Gym Sessions Need to Last Three Hours

Seen people living at the gym, doing sweet FA for hours on end. Taking selfies, chatting up the staff, pretending to exercise. Get in, work hard for 45 minutes, and head home. You’ve got a life to live, haven’t you? Quality beats quantity every single time. Basic stuff.

Myth 8: Muscle Transforms Into Fat Like Some Weird Magic Trick

This one’s mental. Muscle and fat are completely different. One can’t magically become the other, can it? Stop training, and your muscles shrink because you’re not using them. Keep scoffing pizza and you’ll get fat. Two different things happening at once, not some bizarre body alchemy.

Myth 9: Being Crippled With Soreness Means Good Workout

Soreness isn’t a badge of honour. Sometimes you’ll ache; sometimes you won’t. Depends on loads of factors: what you did, how much sleep you got, and whether you’ve been eating properly. Chasing soreness is stupid. You must chase getting stronger, faster, and better at stuff. Much more useful than hobbling around like you’ve been hit by a bus.

Myth 10: Magic Foods Melt Fat Away

Magic fat-burning foods don’t exist. Celery, green tea, and chilli peppers; they might have tiny effects, but nothing meaningful. If certain foods actually burnt fat, Tesco would be full of skinny people, wouldn’t it?  The only thing that burns fat is eating less than you use up. Basic maths that nobody wants to hear because it’s not exciting enough for Instagram.

What Actually Works (Boring Alert)

Want the truth? Here it is: lift weights regularly with decent form. Eat normal food in sensible amounts. Sleep properly. Manage your stress levels. Nothing too dramatic, no big revelation that would change a life. Rather boring grown-up things that work and you can follow if you really want.

Stop Falling For This Nonsense

Next time someone tells you about their amazing new fitness “discovery,” ask yourself if it sounds too good to be true. Usually it is. These 10 fitness myths you should stop believing have wasted millions of hours and pounds over the years. Don’t let them waste yours.

Getting Real About Fitness

The fitness world is stuffed with charlatans trying to flog you miracle solutions. Truth is dead boring and doesn’t photograph well for social media. Eat your vegetables, lift some weights, go for walks, and get enough kip. That’s literally it. No magic bullets, no life-changing secrets, just consistent effort over months and years.

Final Rant

Stop believing fairy tales about fitness. Start doing the boring stuff that actually works. Good food, regular exercise, and proper rest. Your gran could’ve told you that for free, but apparently we need Instagram influencers to remind us of basic common sense these days. Stop believing the myths and start doing the work. Your future self will thank you