My old man came round last Sunday for his weekly football argument session, and we got into it about goal scorers again. He’s convinced that players today don’t have the same hunger as the old-timers. “Josef Bican,” he says, waving his tea mug around. “Now there was a proper goal machine.” Problem is, half these records are about as clear as mud, aren’t they?
Been doing some digging though, and the numbers are mental when you actually look at them. We’re talking about blokes who scored more goals than most people have had hot dinners. Here’s how I reckon the greatest goal scorers actually stack up when you get down to the nitty-gritty.
Top 10 Greatest Goal Scorers of All Time
10. Joe Bambrick (626 Goals)
Never heard of him? Neither had I until recently. This Northern Irish lad was scoring goals for fun back in the 1920s and 30s. His scoring of six goals for Ireland v Wales at Celtic Park on 1 February 1930 in a 7–0 win still remains the record score for a British Isles player in an international fixture.
They had a saying about him: “Head, Heel or Toe, Slip it to Joe,” which tells you everything about his finishing ability. Played for Chelsea, among others, but most of his goals came in Irish football, where he was absolutely prolific. Gas worker turned goal machine; you don’t see many of those anymore.
9. Gerd Müller (634 Goals)
Der Bomber. Now we’re talking about someone everyone’s heard of. This German was built like a brick shithouse but moved like a dancer in the penalty box. Bayern Munich legend who just knew where the goal was, even when he couldn’t see it.
What gets me about Müller is how he made difficult finishes look routine. Awkward bounces, tight angles, defender breathing down his neck; it didn’t matter. Ball hits the net, job done. Scored 68 goals in 62 games for West Germany, which is absolutely bonkers.
8. Jimmy Jones (639 Goals)
Another Northern Ireland striker most people haven’t heard of. According to RSSSF, he scored more than 809 goals in official matches, which makes him one of the most prolific goal scorers of all time. Had his leg broken by rival supporters early in his career, spent over a year out, then came back and kept banging in goals like nothing happened.
Proper tough one, that one. Different era when football was more like organised warfare, but he adapted and kept scoring for nearly twenty years.
7. Robert Lewandowski (673 Goals*)
The Polish machine who’s still going strong. What I admire most about Lewandowski is his dedication to his craft; he cares for his body as carefully as a prized sports car in need of optimum performance.
An admirer since his prolific days at Dortmund, his propensity for finding the net shows no signs of abating. The lightning-fast hat-trick against Real Madrid continues to induce shivers of delight throughout me. A complete striker unlike any other, he is equally adept with both feet from any vantage point within the opposition’s area.
Still adding to his tally at Barcelona, showing no signs of slowing down.
6. Josef Bican (722 Goals)
Here’s where my dad gets excited. This Czech-Austrian striker supposedly scored over 5,000 goals if you count everything, but even the conservative estimates put him over 700 in competitive matches. Played through World War Two when half the defenders were off fighting.
The problem with Bican’s record is nobody can agree on the exact numbers. Different sources give different totals, and some of his goals came in matches that barely qualify as competitive. Still, you don’t score that many goals by accident.
5. Ferenc Puskás (725 Goals)
The Galloping Major from Hungary. Left foot like a wand, could score from anywhere. Part of that legendary Real Madrid team in the 1950s that won five European Cups in a row.
Puskás was proper two-footed despite being known for his left foot. Fat little fella who looked like your uncle, but when the ball dropped to him in the box, it was game over. Scored 84 goals in 85 games for Hungary, which is mental considering the quality of international football back then.
4. Romário (756 Goals)
The Brazilian who never shut up about his goal tally. Celebrated his 1,000th goal like he’d won the World Cup, even though the official count puts him at 756. Didn’t matter to him, as he knew he was class.
What made Romário special was his finishing in tight spaces. Give him half a yard in the penalty area, and he’d find the corner every time. Proper confidence on him too; he would tell defenders exactly where he was going to put the ball, then do it anyway.
3. Pelé (762 Goals)
The King. Everyone’s heard the stories about Pelé scoring over 1,000 goals, but the verified competitive total is 762. Still mental numbers for someone who retired at 36.
My granddad saw him play at the 1970 World Cup and still bangs on about it fifty years later. “Different class,” he always says. “Made football look like art.” Three World Cups, goals from every angle, and did it all with a smile on his face.
2. Lionel Messi (866 Goals*)
The little magician who’s been chasing records his whole career without making a big deal about it. That World Cup win in Qatar was the cherry on top of an incredible career.
What gets me about Messi is how he scores impossible goals. That dribble past five players before slotting home? He’s done it about fifty times. Free kicks from ridiculous angles? Tuesday routine for him. Left foot like a surgeon’s scalpel.
1. Cristiano Ronaldo (938 Goals*)
Had to be him at the top, didn’t it? Love him or hate him, you can’t argue with 938 goals and counting. Still scoring for Portugal at nearly 40 years old, which is absolutely mental.
Ronaldo turned goal scoring into performance art. Every celebration, every milestone, everything’s a production. But he’s earned the right to be obsessed with numbers. Headers, penalties, free kicks, tap-ins, thirty-yard screamers; he’s scored every type of goal imaginable.
The Truth About Ranking The Greatest Goal Scorers
Here’s the thing about trying to rank these football legends; it’s like comparing different currencies from different eras. Bambrick and Bican scored their goals when defending was basically legalised assault. Pelé played in Brazil when some teams were semi-professional. Modern players face athletes who train scientifically.
But that’s what makes football brilliant, isn’t it? Every generation produces incredible goal scorers who capture our imagination. The greatest goal scorers don’t just accumulate numbers; they create moments that last forever.
Whether they’re ranking in the top 10 or sitting at number one, each of these players changed the game in their own way. The real winner? Us supporters who got to watch them do impossible things with a football.
