God, I was such an idiot last week. Spent my entire lunch break in Superdrug, looking like a right wally with lipstick all over my hands. Started because I saw this girl on TikTok wearing this gorgeous deep red. Ordered it straight away, didn’t I? Big mistake.

Put it on for work the next day, and my colleague Eddy said I looked like I’d been in a fight. Charming. But he wasn’t wrong. I looked absolutely dreadful.

Turns out you can’t just nick someone else’s lipstick colour and expect it to work. Who knew? (Everyone except me, apparently.)

The Undertone Thing Nobody Explains Properly

Alright, so your skin’s got this thing called an undertone. Sounds complicated, but it’s not really.

It’s like… imagine your skin’s a sandwich. The bread (what you can see) might be light or dark. But the filling (undertone) stays the same whether you’re sunburnt or haven’t seen daylight for months.

Three types: warm (yellow-y), cool (pink-y), and neutral (a bit of everything).

Here’s how you check. Go to a window with proper light. Look at your wrists. See those veins? If they’re green, you’re warm. Blue or purple? Cool. Can’t tell what colour they are? Neutral.

Or think about jewellery. Does gold make you look healthy? You’re warm. Silver better? Cool. Both fine? Neutral.

I’m definitely cool. Which explains why that TikTok red made me look like I’d been eating beetroot.

Read Aslo: 10 Daily Mobility Exercises for a Pain-Free Body

Cool Undertones (That’s Me)

Right, if you’re cool-toned like me, you want lipsticks that have pink or blue mixed in.

Berry colours are brilliant. Deep reds work if they’re not too orange. Plums, raspberries, proper classic reds.

I’ve got this MAC lipstick called Russian Red that makes me look like a film star. Well, I think so anyway.

For everyday stuff, try soft berry shades. Less dramatic than bright red but still makes you look like you’ve made an effort.

Don’t touch anything orange or coral. I know everyone says coral’s “universally flattering”, but that’s complete bollocks if you’re cool-toned. Makes you look like you’ve got jaundice.

Learned that one the expensive way when I bought some £25 Chanel thing because the shop assistant insisted it would “work on everyone”. It didn’t.

Warm Undertones (Lucky Ones)

If you’re warm-toned, you can wear all those gorgeous peachy, coral shades that make me look ill.

Orange-reds, brick colours, anything with yellow or orange in it. Terracotta shades, warm browns, and peachy nudes.

My best mate Lucy’s warm-toned, and she looks incredible in this coral lipstick from Boots. Cost her four quid. Meanwhile, I’m spending a fortune trying to find something that doesn’t make me look consumptive.

For subtle days, warm nude shades with a hint of peach will make your skin glow.

Avoid the cool pinks and berries that work on me. They’ll clash with your golden skin and wash you out completely.

Neutral Undertones (Show-Offs)

If you’re neutral, I honestly hate you a bit. You can wear basically anything.

Want something dramatic? Berry‘s fine. Feeling peachy? Coral works. Most reds will suit you.

My sister’s neutral, and it’s genuinely annoying. She just grabs whatever’s on offer and looks fantastic. Meanwhile I’m stood in the lipstick aisle having an existential crisis.

Your Natural Lip Colour (Why Nobody Mentions This?)

Your actual lip colour affects everything. Why does nobody talk about this?

If your lips are naturally dark, pale lipsticks won’t show up properly. You’ll need lip liner or primer to get the real colour.

Really pale lips make bright colours look even brighter. Sometimes that’s great. Sometimes you look like you’ve been at the blackcurrant cordial.

My lips are quite pale, so when I wear bright red without primer, I look like a vampire. Not always the look I’m going for on a Tuesday morning.

Testing Stuff Properly (Learn From My Mistakes)

Stop testing lipstick on your hands. Your hands are a completely different colour from your face. I was doing this for years like a complete muppet.

Test on your fingertips if you must test somewhere. They’re closer to your actual lip colour.

Better yet, most decent shops have those little disposable wands now. Use them.

Check colours in different lights too. I once bought a lipstick that looked gorgeous under the shop lights and like I’d been eating soil once I got outside.

Skin Depth Matters

Generally speaking, the darker your skin, the richer you want your lipstick.

Fair skin (like mine) can handle light or dark shades, but really pale colours might make you look like you need a good meal.

Medium skin tones can wear most things. Lucky them.

Deep skin looks absolutely stunning in rich, saturated colours. My friend Aisha wears these gorgeous deep berry shades that would look ridiculous on me but make her look like a goddess.

Forget the Rules Sometimes

Look, all this advice is helpful, but sometimes you just fancy wearing something completely “wrong” for your skin tone.

I’ve got this bright orange lipstick that should look awful on my cool skin. But it makes me feel like I could take over the world, so I wear it anyway.

If something makes you feel brilliant, wear it. Confidence beats colour theory every time.

Building Your Stash

Start with one everyday shade that makes you look healthy and awake. That’s your foundation lipstick.

Get a red that works with your undertones. Everyone needs a proper red. It’s like having a little black dress but for your face.

Add something darker for evenings or when you want to feel dramatic.

Then buy random stuff you fancy. But always come back to those core shades that just work.

I’ve got about forty lipsticks now (don’t tell my husband), but I mostly wear the same three. The rest just make me feel better about my life choices.

When You Know You’ve Got It Right

You’ll know you’ve found the perfect lipstick shade for your skin tone when your mum stops asking if you’re feeling alright.

When people start asking what you’ve done differently. When the colour makes your teeth look whiter and your skin clearer.

But mostly when it makes you feel confident. Good lipstick changes how you walk. Makes you smile more. Makes you feel like you can handle whatever rubbish the day throws at you.

The right shade becomes part of you. Once you find it, you’ll panic-buy three backups because running out is unthinkable.

And you’ll never again spend your lunch break in Superdrug looking like you’ve been in a lipstick fight.

Trust me. I’ve been there.